6 Haunted
Jimmy’s rest stop was the parking lot of a historic site at the top of Charbonnier Bluff, the highest point along this stretch of the Missouri. Captain William Clark had explored the hill on May 16, 1804, two days after the Discovery Corps set out on its epic journey. He remarked in his diary on the “great quantytes of Coal,” a feature that other explorers found invaluable. Clark also noted that he could see the city of St. Charles, seven miles away.
The parking lot was part of a museum that had once been a Jesuit church and seminary. It started out as a frontier mission built by priests sent to Missouri from Maryland in 1823. It was the longest continuously operated Jesuit novitiate in the United States when it was shut down in 1971. The Missouri Department of Conservation took over the site in 1973.
Indians had occupied the vantage point intermittently for centuries before the missionaries arrived.
The partially restored church that had been built by novices on top of an ancient Indian burial ground was the main attraction. The rest of it looked like a small farm with wood frame buildings and a barn.
Kate insisted on getting out and walking around to take my mind off the legal BS I had been forced to deal with. On our way to check out the ruins of the old church, a spell hit me. I had to stoop over with my hands on my knees until it passed. I sucked in air to ease the sensation in my chest. That set off Nurse Kate’s alarm bells. She grabbed my arm. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Blood pressure. It comes and goes.”
“Blood pressure?” Her face scrunched into a skeptical look.
“I get a little light-headed like you get from low blood pressure when you stand up.”
“You’ve been on your feet for a couple of minutes. Is there anything else?”
“My legs feel weak, and I get a funny sensation in my chest and shoulders.”
“Sounds like tachycardia to me.”
“Never heard of that one. What is it?”
“Your heart starts beating too fast for the blood supply so your body shuts down until your heart gets back in synch.”
I shrugged. “Whatever. It’s not worth worrying about.”
“It’s a serious medical condition. There are drugs to control it.”
“Why should I go get medicine when all I have to do is stop and let it pass?”
“It’s likely to get worse.”
I tapped my head. “Not in my case.”
She pressed her lips into a tight line, closed her eyes, and shook her head. The spell had passed, so we continued to the ruins and a sign that explained the site’s history.
##
On our way back to the RV, Kate asked, “Where to now?”
“I haven’t thought that far ahead. Normally, I would look at my book and pick a target. You and your lawyer cousin have messed everything up.”
“Okay. When we get to the camper, you can look at your book and figure out what you want to do.”
The book was a tour guide to the Lewis and Clark Trail with a suggested itinerary that would get me to the Oregon coast in two weeks. From there, I would head north to my cousin’s home in Alaska. I found the itinerary, and Kate pulled up Google Maps on her tablet.
“It looks like Jefferson City, Arrow Rocks, and Fort Osage are on today’s schedule.”
“You won’t be able to fit all that in today.”
“That’s what I said. You and your lawyer have knocked me off my schedule.”
“Jefferson City is about 150 miles. Do you want to take the Interstate of the scenic route?”
“What’s the difference?”
“About a half-hour, but Lewis and Clark took the scenic route.”
It was too late for sightseeing, even in the St. Louis area. Driving to Jefferson City for an early start in the morning was the only sensible strategy. Kate found us a spot at Binder Lake a few miles west of the city.
“We should eat before we take off,” Kate suggested. “It’s not a good idea to eat just before bed.”
“We’re already running late, and I’m not that hungry.”
“We’re going to spend the night at the campground so it shouldn’t matter when we get there. I can drive so you can relax.”
The suggestion bugged me, but it wasn’t hard to see that she was right. “You planning to take the scenic route?”
“We’re going to be late. We might as well enjoy the ride.”
I was hungrier than I thought. The sandwiches served with hot coffee hit the spot. We set off on a tree-lined rural road that wound through the hilly countryside more or less paralleling the river. Kate woke me at the park entrance. I had fallen asleep somewhere between the museum and the campground. She was going to let me doze, but the guards insisted on getting a credit card to cover the cost of our stay.
##
When I got up at three, I started thinking about Anne, and I ended up in a heated conversation with her. I was pissed at her for dying and leaving me all alone. I poured a half cup of whiskey and sat in the Captain’s chair to calm down. I was staring out at the trees and the sky while I nursed my Scotch when Kate put a hand on my shoulder and asked if I was okay.
“Yeah. Just an old man living in the past.”
“What about the past?”
I ignored her and took a sip from my cup. She sat down in the other chair. “What’s the problem, Mac?”
I took a deep breath and blew it out through my lips. “Anne.”
“Your wife?”
I nodded. Kate gently pulled the cup from my hand and took a swig. She passed it back. “How long has it been?”
“Five months.”
“Did you find out about the cancer before or after?”
“After. I had been having headaches and vision problems. That’s why I went to the doctor.” I shook my head. “She got sick and died. It was very sudden – less than a week. I didn’t get back to the doctor until after the funeral.”
“And you’ve been dealing with a double whammy ever since.”
“Triple. Our dog was killed while I was at the doctor getting the bad news.”
She guffawed. “I know that’s not funny. But compared to the other two.”
“That’s why it’s called the straw that broke the camel’s back.”
After a couple of minutes, she said, “You should write your story down.”
“Nobody would be interested.”
“That’s not the point. It’s trying to get out. You’re holding it in. Let it out, and it’ll let go of you.”
“I can’t just write things for the heck of writing. I need to believe that somebody is interested in what I’m trying to say.”
“There are websites for that. You’d meet people who are reaching out with their stories and would love to hear yours.”
I studied her in the dark. She was serious. “I don’t know,” I said. “Why don’t you go back to bed? I’ll be there as soon as I finish this.”
Kate stood and kissed me on the cheek. “Don’t be too long. You need your sleep.”
##
By the time I woke up, Kate was already going through her yoga routine. I sat in bed and watched. After she showered and dressed, she came over to me and asked, “Why are you still in bed?”
“I’m staying out of the way.”
“So, you’re ready to get up and start exercising?”
“I guess I’m ready to get up.”
“Mac, I would like to see you get in the habit of exercising two or three times a day. I would like you to start the day off with a morning routine.”
I pointed to my head. “Again. Normal rules don’t apply.”
“I will consider myself successful if you are able to visit with your cousin when we reach his or her house. I will consider myself extremely successful if I can get you comfortably situated after the visit.”
I had never thought about the situation in those terms. Success. What would that mean? I didn’t know what to say. I just shook my head. Kate continued, “Think of this as a marathon. You can improve your odds of success by doing a few simple things. Eating right, exercising, and getting enough rest.”
“The other doctors said I could extend my life by a year or more with radiation and chemotherapy, but I would be bedridden before I actually died.”
She nodded, “Unfortunately that’s true. I’m suggesting an alternate approach. It won’t keep you alive as long, but it will give you a good shot at meeting your cousin.”
She fixed me with that laser stare of hers. “There is a third alternative. It marries traditional treatment with homeopathic practices. That’s what you would get at St. Elizabeth’s.”
“Would that cure my cancer?”
“It could offer you a better chance of staying alive longer, just like traditional oncology. You would find the experience more agreeable. But the goal is survival, not a cure.”
“Do you think I should give it a try?”
“That’s up to you. It’s a decision only you can make.”
“If I decided to do it, the first they would want to do is see if the tumor is coming back. Then they would have to operate again. Then they would insist on chemo and radiation therapy.”
“Probably.”
“And if I wait until I finish this trip, it will be too late.”
Kate pressed her lips into a line and nodded. I said, “It’s a tough choice, but I think once I check myself into a treatment program like that, I’m as good as dead. I’ll stick with my plan.”
“There is one thing we need to be clear about, Mac.”
“Which is?”
“I will go along with you as long as you commit to the program of diet, exercise, and rest that I have in mind.”
“What if I don’t?”
“I’m only a couple of hundred miles from home. You agree now, or I start figuring out how to get back to St. Louis.”
“Go ahead,” I sneered.
She just smiled. “You’re a stubborn old goat, but you’re not a fool. I’m your backup in case something goes wrong.”
“You’re something else, woman.”
“Come on, Mac. I’m not trying to take over your life. I am just trying to get you to take care of yourself, so you can enjoy it.”
I threw up my hands. “Shit,”
“Are you going to do what I ask?”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. “Yeah.”